An update: Mike told me today that one of his neighbors saw the whole thing and told him, “I’m going to bake you a cake for that.” The next day when he came home from work, sure enough, she came over and brought him a cake.

A paramedic I know was driving home yesterday in the snow. He got to the street that his street is off of and found a snow plow (private contractor, not city) pushing a hug pile of snow into the intersection.

He stopped behind the truck, which was trying to back up. The pile would have blocked the intersection, but for some reason the driver had no interest in clearing the intersection or completing to plow my friend’s street.

When my friend didn’t move and honking the horn didn’t work, the driver got out and told my friend that if he didn’t move, he was going to ram him. My friend suggested that the driver move the pile of snow and continue down his street. To which the driver replied, “Fuck you, that’s not my street”. My friend repeated his request and now the driver repeated his threat, but didn’t get back into his truck.

My friend (Mike) called the district police station, identified himself, and related what happened. The officer at the desk told him to wait right there.

A couple of minutes later a police car showed up and when the officer got out, Mike recognized him from when he worked in that area of the city. They chatted a bit, catching up on old times, while the driver stood there fuming. Now, if the driver had half a brain, he would have apologized, got in his truck, and cleared the street, but as so often happens with nitwits, he missed the obvious.

After socializing for a few minutes, the officer asked Mike what the problem was. Mike explained, including the threat to ram his car. The officer said, “Well, we’ll have to talk to this guy, won’t we?”

The officer suggested that the driver clear the intersection and plow Mike’s street, in a gesture of good will. They waited until this was done and the driver returned back to where Mike and the officer waited. Which is when things started to go down hill for the driver.

The officer noticed that the license plate on the truck was obstructed by snow, so he ordered the driver to clear the plate off. Only it turns out, there wasn’t one. The truck was unregistered and of course uninsured.

Then he asked the driver where the “flag” the city requires contract plows to display was. Apparently there wasn’t one. Then he asked where the GPS device the city requires was. Nope, not there either.

Then the plow driver explained that he was sort of a “sub contractor to the contractor”, which is a violation of city ordinance.

Oh, did I mention that the inspection sticker was four years old?

Let’s add up the tally so far,

Threats
No registration
No insurance
No flag
No GPS
Way expired inspection sticker.

Normally this would result in a citation and towing of the vehicle. So, the officer prepared to do that and demanded that the driver produce his driver’s license. Only the guy didn’t have one to produce. That, under state law, makes the no registration thing an “arrestable offense”.

So, the guy was arrested, cuffed, and then stuffed into the back of the police cruiser.

As they were shutting the door my friend, ever helpful as he is, walked over and said to the guy, “You know, you’re in luck. They should finish booking you in time for you to have dinner.”

I’ll skip the driver’s reply.

A couple of hours later, the officer called Mike and reported that the driver really was stupid. He had over a dozen outstanding arrest warrants. Bail for the warrants was somewhere in five figures, so the driver not only got a complimentary jail house dinner, but he’ll get an egg sandwich and carton of milk in the morning.

This is not Sumdood at work, this is Sumdoap at work.