Department of Agriculture works to cut shattered Major League Baseball bats

Federal researchers have discovered a way to lower the number of baseball bats that shatter in the course of Major League Baseball games, Department of Agriculture  Secretary Tom Vilsack announced Friday.

“This innovative research by the U.S. Forest Service will make baseball games safer for players and fans across the nation,” Vilsack said in a statement. “The U.S. Forest Products Laboratory has once again demonstrated that we can improve uses for wood products across our nation in practical ways – making advancements that can improve quality of life and grow our economy.”

Of course we have to cut military funding, close the White House to tours, cut funding for the federal courts, and of course cut federal funding for wild fire fighting.

No doubt we will get federally mandated “safe base ball bats”, probably made out of concrete. That should make the game more enjoyable.

Once again, I refer you to President Ronald Reagan,

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