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Dear Jackass In The Next Car

10

I understand it’s a major pain in the ass when whoever decides to close two lanes for construction. Even though it’s after 9:00 PM, traffic is going to back up and we are all going to have to squeeze over into one lane for a short stretch of road. That’s why I, and about 95% of the other drivers, merged in with the other lanes early on, when we first saw the blue blinky lights and the yellow arrow board pointed like this, >>>>>  >>>> >>>>. We got the hint that we had to move to the right out of our lane. You, and a few of your fellow Jackasses behind the wheel, decided that you were too cool, too important, to much of in a hurry for that BS. So, you flew down the now vacant left lane until you got almost to the barricade and arrow board. Then, and only then, did  you decide that you wanted in to the lane with the rest of the driving world, the squares who actually followed the rules. As all crept towards the one lane that was open, you tried to sneak or bully your way into the line of traffic that was patiently waiting their turn. Sorry, bunky, but that’s not happening, at least not when I’m there. You can sit at that arrow board all day long for all I care. Putting on your directional (I’m surprised you even know what that thing is for), beeping your horn to get my attention, and finally giving me the finger as I pass you by, is not going to encourage me to let you in so you can get to that job at Burger Barn on time.

Trying thinking ahead next time, Jackass. Well, if you did that, you wouldn’t be a Jackass, would you?

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I'm a retired paramedic who formerly worked in a largish city in the Northeast corner of the U.S. In my post EMS life I provide Quality Improvement instruction and consulting under contract. I haven't really retired, I just don't work nights, holidays, or weekends.  I escaped the Northeast a couple of years ago and now live in Texas.  I'm more than just a little opinionated, but that comes with having been around the block more than once. You can email me at EMSArtifact@gmail.com After living most of my life (so far) in the northeast my lovely wife and I have moved to central Texas because we weren't comfortable in the northeast any longer. Life is full of twists and turns.

10 COMMENTS

  1. We have a stretch of road like this in town where they are building a bridge. Unfortunately we get to transport said jackass about once a day when he collides laterally with another vehicle and then decides that his neck hurts.

  2. And I thought we only had that problem here!
    Asshats everyone of them!!!

    That big orange truck does not move much when you hit it cause your to damn stupid and talking on your cell to move over!!

  3. This has been studied.

    The late merge has been shown to decrease the amount of time people are waiting in line.

    If you consider this from just the obvious – the longer traffic is reduced by one lane, the slower traffic will move.

    As long as not violating any traffic rules, the driver is not doing anything wrong by using the lane for as long as it is designed to be used. The driver refusing to allow alternate vehicles to merge may be violating traffic rules (state laws can vary a lot).

    By merging early, we slow everyone down even more.

    • It makes it faster for the people who merge late, but if everyone did it that way it wouldn’t make any faster. It likely would just add to the confusion. The people who do that are not thinking of studies or traffic flow, they are thinking that they are more important than the other drivers.

      • No. It makes traffic flow better for everyone. The farther back people merge, the longer the delay.

        Using just one lane, when traffic is congested, adds to the congestion and slows everyone down.

        You know what all of the other drivers are thinking? You have developed amazing psychic abilities. 😉

      • Well, I’m late to this particular party, but you’re both right. With the drivers we have, the last-minute lane-changers are contributing to delays. However, with proper education, last-minute merging is the optimal solution. They have it in Germany. By law, in Germany, you must continue to the end of the lane before merging, and people in the other lane must leave space for traffic in the lane that is closing to move over. This works much better than the system in the States.

        Please read this: http://www.dot.state.mn.us/trafficeng/workzone/doc/When-latemerge-zipper.pdf

  4. When I was driving OTR and that came up, it wasn’t unusual for another semi to get in that merge lane just to block those @ssholes and get let in at the last minute.
    You know Rogue, it DID make traffic flow better- too bad for those @sshioles in the merge lane, but f*ck them.

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